The Platonic Friendships of Mia Zabini
by HeyMrsPotter
Summary: This was written for a challenge on another site to write a story with no romance. THIS IS A JOKE STORY NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This story is written for a challenge on another site. It's not to be taken seriously at all, please do not take offence! I've written a Head Boy/Girl story myself and am a keen dramione shipper. I love to read the Head Boy/Girl and the 'Hermione as a Zabini' stories so like I said, don't be offended if you've written one! Enjoy!**

The war was over, Voldemort defeated, Harry Potter victorious. The summer after good had triumphed over evil was spent putting the Wizarding world back together; families were reunited, laws were changed, the Ministry of Magic restructured and Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry put back together again.

Hermione Granger, one third of the Golden Trio, had the most interesting summer of all. She and Ron had decided to take their platonic **_friend_**ship to the next level. No longer were they platonic best **_friends_**, they were now bestest B.F.F, a muggle term that means Best **_Friends _**Forever (still completely platonic). Hermione was thrilled, she and Ron had always secretly known that they were more than just 'best **_friends_**' but something had always gotten in the way of them becoming bestest B. , for example, Ron's jealousy; he thought that Hermione and Harry were being bestest B. behind his back. It had all worked out perfectly though, Harry was now Ginny's bestest B.F.F and the foursome spent an amazing summer together, doing all sorts of fun yet completely unromantic, platonic Wizarding activities, totally disregarding the horrific year they had all had and the fact that many people had died at the hands of Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

The progression in Hermione and Ron's **_friend_**ship was not the only big change in Hermione's life that summer. When the time to return to Hogwarts was near, Hermione went back to her parents house, suddenly remembering that she had erased their memories and shipped them off to the other side of the world. After a quick apparition to Australia, she removed the memory charm on her parents and they all moved back to England.

On the morning of Hermione's eighteenth birthday (which was now in the summer holidays and not September eighteenth for the purpose of this story), she was woken by a tapping sound on her bedroom window. A black owl was hovering there, a letter addressed to Hermione in its beak. She opened the window and took the letter, giving the owl a treat (which she had even though she does not own an owl herself) before it took off again. She opened the envelope, expecting a birthday card and instead found a letter which would change her life forever... (lots of ellipses for dramatic effect)

_Dear Hermione,_

As it is your eighteenth birthday, I am writing to tell you the truth about who you really are. You are adopted and actually not a muggleborn at all, you are a pureblood and the twin sister of Blaise Zabini. When you were a baby we had to give you up for adoption because of some vague plot that involves the Dark Lord who didn't like girl babies or something. You had a glamour charm placed on you and we left you in the hands of a muggle couple so that you would grow up safe from the Dark Lord. Now that you are eighteen we are allowed to tell you all of this. We will be coming over at ten this morning to answer any questions you have and to remove the glamour charm.

Your mother,

Adelaide Zabini 

Hermione read the letter several times, wondering if it was a joke. She looked at the clock which now read ten AM and heard a scream coming from downstairs. She raced to the kitchen, where the scream had come from and found her mum and dad staring, open-mouthed, at the fireplace. There stood Blaise Zabini and the most beautiful woman Hermione had ever seen. She was at least six foot tall, had poker straight jet black hair, pale skin and electric blue eyes. The pair stepped out of the fireplace (which was conveniently hooked up to the floo network) and Mrs Zabini greeted Hermione's parents.

"Mr and Mrs Granger, it has been too long. Thank you for raising my daughter, but the day has come that she knows who her true family is."

"Yes, you're absolutely right. Please, take a seat, I'll make us some tea." Hermione's mum replied kindly.

Hermione was ushered into a seat by her father and they all sat with her at the dining table, her mum joining them with a tray of tea and biscuits. Mrs Zabini spoke directly to Hermione.

"I trust you received my letter?" Hermione was speechless, she simply nodded in reply.  
"Good. Well that pretty much explained everything; Dark Lord, we put you up for adoption, glamour charm, twin sister of Blaise, I'm your mother. So Mia, will you come and live with us?"

"What did you call me?" Hermione asked, perplexed.

"Mia, it's the name we gave you when you were born. The Grangers changed it so that the Dark Lord wouldn't know who you really were. So, what do you say? Will you live with us?"

Hermione thought about Mrs Zabini's proposition for around thirty seconds. "Yes, alright then. I'll come and live with you Mrs Zabini."

"Fantastic!" Mrs Zabini exclaimed. "And please, call me Mother."

Ten minutes later, Hermione had packed all of her belongings into her Hogwarts trunk and levitated it into the kitchen. She said goodbye to the parents that had raised her for eighteen years, having completely accepted the fact that she was now going to live with total strangers instead of them, but she did promise that she would visit from time to time. Of course, Mr and Mrs Granger were completely happy with this.

Mia, (which will be her name for the rest of this story) then flooed to her new home with her new Mother and twin brother. They lived in a huge manor house which was very dark and gothic. Blaise took her up to her new bedroom which was all black and purple, a huge four poster bed with silk sheets dominated the room. Even though Hermione Granger would have hated it, Mia Zabini loved it.

"Come on, Mia, put your stuff here and we can go back downstairs so Mother can remove the glamour charm!" Blaise told her excitedly.

They returned to the living room to find their Mother waiting by a full length mirror.

"I thought you might like to see what you looked like after I remove the charm." She explained.

Mia faced her mother, who muttered a complicated spell and waved her wand, before turning Mia around to face the mirror. A beautiful girl stood there. She had black hair that was not wild and curly like Hermione Granger's but fell in soft waves down her back. Her skin was as pale as Mother's and soft to touch and the eyes that stared back at her were a deep shade of violet. The best part of Mia's new look, however, was that she had curves in _all_ the right places.

"Well? What do you think?" Blaise asked.

"I love it!" she cried. "I look just like you Blaise!" Who also had pale skin, black hair and purple eyes, despite every description of him before now.

Mia spent the last few weeks of the holidays enjoying her new life. She went shopping with her mother who bought her a whole wardrobe of gothic clothes to go with her gothic look and a lifetime supply of black eyeliner, which she now wore every day. She also spent a lot of time with Blaise's best friend, Draco Malfoy, who was not at all surprised at who Mia used to be and instantly liked her despite having spent seven years hating her and calling her 'Mudblood'. They were becoming... **_friends_**. Hermione had even started to have dreams about Draco, ones she had never had about a boy before. In her dreams they would spend hours together, alone, doing something Hermione had _never_ done before...

...

...

...

...playing Wizard chess.

Two days before Mia and Blaise were to return to school, they received their Hogwarts letters. Mia was not at all surprised to find out that she had been made Head Girl and Draco Malfoy would be Head Boy. McGonagall explained in her letter that they would have to share a dormitory which would be ten times the size of the Gyffindor one even though it was only for two people.

After reading her Hogwarts letter, Mia suddenly remembered that she had completely forgotten to write to Harry or her bestest B.F.F, Ron in weeks. She hadn't even told them about her new life! She quickly scribbled a letter.

_Dear Ron and Harry,_

I am just writing to tell you that I found out I was adopted, I'm actually Blaise Zabini's twin sister. I've had a glamour charm removed so look completely different now and I'm living at Zabini Manor. Looking forward to seeing you both at Hogwarts (especially you, Ron!)

Love from,

Mia Zabini.

P.S. That's my new name.  
P.P.S. If you want to keep calling me 'Mione like you have done for the past seven years that's fine.  
P.P.P.S. I'm friends with Draco Malfoy, he's actually quite nice.  
P.P.P.P.S. I'm Head Girl!  
P.P.P.P.P.S. Draco is Head Boy.

She attached the letter to her new owl, Lola, and sent it. She was not at all concerned at how her friends would react.


	2. Chapter 2

September the First arrived, Mia and Blaise walked through the barrier to Platform nine and three quarters together. As soon as she was through, people started to stare at her, wondering who this new beauty was. Mia held her head high, stuck her new large chest out and walked straight on to the train, eager to find Ron. She had missed him in a completely platonic bestest B.F.F. way. She found him, along with Harry and Ginny in a compartment a little way down the train.

"Errr, can we help?" Ron said, staring at Mia.

"Don't you recognise your bestest B.F.F?" Mia replied, winking (because that's what Hermione Granger would do).

"'Mione?!" Harry exclaimed, jumping out of his seat.

"Yep, it's me. What do you think of my new look? Looks are very important to me now."

"You look AMAZING!" cried Ginny, who immediately began a conversation with Mia about clothes because Ginny loved fashion, she was a complete girly-girl despite having grown up with six brothers.

The journey to Hogwarts was fairly uneventful. Mia and Draco met with the prefects and gave them instructions to patrol the train, then Mia joined Harry, Ron and Ginny in their compartment once more. Luna and Neville, who were now head over heels in like for each other as platonic friends, visited too. Luna looked dreamy and blamed everything on Nargles and Neville lost his toad, for a change.

After the feast, McGonagall gave a speech about the importance of house unity, (which couldn't possibly be a hint of an impending friendship between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin) and introduced Hermione and Draco as the new Head Boy and Girl. She also revealed that there would be a ball at Halloween, much to the shock of the students and you, the reader. Ginny positively squealed with excitement, true to her girly personality.

Mia left the Great Hall fairly quickly, excited to see hers and Draco's new dormitory, to which Headmistress McGonagall had just given them the password, unity. They arrived at the portrait that guarded their new living quarters, it depicted all of the headmasters and headmistresses Hogwarts had ever had. After giving the password, the portrait hole swung open to reveal a room which was half silver and green with various snake-like objects around it and half gold and red with lions all over it. Draco and Mia both decided to go and look at their bedrooms, they went their separate ways at the top of a spiral red-gold-silver-green staircase. Mia was thrilled to see that her room was exactly like the one she had at home, black and purple and gothic-just like her.

She decided to take a shower before bed so grabbed her purple and black and gothic washbag and her purple and black and gothic pyjamas and pushed open the door that led to the bathroom. Unfortunately, Professor McGonagall had not warned Mia and Draco that their bathroom was a shared one, two doors at opposite ends of the bathroom led to their respective bedrooms. Draco, wearing only silver and green silk boxer shorts, was about to go in the shower. Mia gasped at the sire of almost-naked Draco. His torso was pale and extremely muscular, 'must be from all of those years playing quidditch, a sport that predominantly involves sitting down' she thought to herself. After the initial shock, she quickly excused herself and went back into her bedroom. She couldn't get the image out of her mind, she was definitely having strong platonic feelings for Draco Malfoy. This was not good.

The next day, presumably after a day of classes which will never be mentioned, Mia decided to go and visit her bestest B.F.F, Ron. She was feeling guilty for all of the platonic thoughts she had been having about a certain blonde-haired Slytherin, and thought some time with him having pleasant conversations would take her mind off the Slytherin friendship-God. She gave the password for the Gryffindor common room, no explanation of how she knew it, and entered. The image that unfolded before her was one that she never expected to see.

Ron was sitting in the corner of the common room, at a small table next to the window. He was smiling and laughing with someone sitting opposite him. It wasn't just anyone though, it was his ex-bestest B.F.F, Lavender Brown, and they were playing chess. Neither Ron or Lavender had noticed Mia, they carried on playing chess and talking, Mia crept closer so she could hear what they were saying.

"Of course you're the only one, Lav-Lav." Ron was saying, not paying attention to his Knight which was currently beheading one of Lavender's bishops.

"Do you promise, Won-Won? Promise I'm your only bestest B.F.F? I thought you and Hermione-"

"Nah, that's nothing. I just pretended to be her friend all these years. It's you I want Lavender, I wouldn't play chess with any other girl."

"Is that right, Ronald?" Mia finally spoke up.

"I-'Mione, what are you doing here?"

"Sorry, am I interrupting your cosy little conversation with this slut?" Mia always called people sluts, even when she was Hermione Granger.

Lavender stood up to face Mia. "I am NOT a slut! Me and Won-Won were bestest B.F.F before you, he chose me, probably because I am way better at pleasant conversations than you, get over it!"

Mia turned on her heel and ran out of the dormitory, her beautiful locks of shiny black hair flowing behind her. She ran all the way to her own common room and threw herself dramatically down on the sofa, allowing a few tears to fall from her violet eyes and down her porcelain cheeks.

"Mia? What's wrong?" She heard Draco's voice and looked up to see his concerned face.

"It's Ron, he's been having a friendship with Lavender Brown behind my back."

"That WEASEL!" Draco yelled. "How dare he?! You're much better off without him, Mia. Trust me. Let Lavender have him, she's rubbish at having conversations anyway. Trust me, I'm the Slytherin friendship-God, I've had conversations with loads of girls."

Mia giggled. "I know, I've heard the rumors."

"I've changed now though." Draco said quietly. "I'm different now, sensitive and everything. I don't just want a girl to have a conversation with any more." His steel-grey orbs stared into Mia's violet ones, she knew he was telling the truth.

Ignoring the fact that it was only September in the last paragraph, it was suddenly the week before the Halloween ball. Draco had asked if Mia would be his friend to the ball and she was thrilled. There was a trip into Hogsmeade so that the girls could buy new dresses (because it doesn't matter what the boys wear) Extremely girly, not tom-boyish in the slightest, Ginny was the most excited for the shopping trip. She dragged Luna and Mia around all of the dress shops in Hogsmeade, there was definitely a lot of them, until they reached the final shop and all found the perfect dresses. Their feet were very sore as they walked back towards school, Luna blamed it on the nargles.

On the day of the ball, the girls started getting ready eight hours before it was due to start. Mia was happy that she did not have to use Sleekeazy hair potion this time, as her hair was no longer bushy, but sleek and shiny. Even though the girls had been getting ready for hours, they still left their boy friends (friends who are boys, completely platonic, remember?), impatiently waiting in the common room for them.

First to dramatically descend the staircase was Ginny, who was wearing a dress in a colour that would usually clash horribly with her flame red hair but on this occasion we'll pretend it didn't. Next was Luna, who was wearing a dress that no doubt had some obscure addition to it, like dirigible plums. Finally, Mia entered the common room, wearing a beautiful dress that was the exact same shade of violet as her eyes, it was extremely low cut and clung to all of her Zabini curves. The boys all told the girls that they looked nice, any stronger adjective would suggest that they were more than platonic friends.

Of course, the ball was a huge success. It was for fourth years and above but Mia and Draco had arranged and after party in their common room from midnight, when the ball finished. The after party was even more fun than the ball itself, Mia and Draco had gotten the house elves to give them a ton of food, because Mia Zabini didn't give a rat's arse about S.P.E.W, and they had smuggled several cases of butterbeer in from the Three Broomsticks. Having such a high alcohol content, the butterbeer got all of the seventh years extremely drunk and after a couple of hours, most students had either gone to bed or had paired off and were having very heated, passionate conversations in various corners of the room.

Mia and Draco were sitting together on the sofa, a reasonable distance between them, in front of a roaring fire.

"Have you had a good night, Mia?" Draco asked her.

"It's been amazing, how about you?"

"Well, it's been good. One thing would make it better though..."

"What would that be?" Mia asked him as he shuffled closer to her on the sofa.

"If you said you would be mine. My bestest B.F.F. We have been friends for a month now Mia, I think that more than makes up for the seven years I was completely awful to you. What do you say?"

Mia patted Draco on the shoulder, a friendly gesture, and nodded her head. "Yes, Draco. I'll be your bestest B.F.F. You're the only person I would want to be utterly platonic with, to have conversations with and most definitely play chess with."

Draco stood up in front of the remaining party guests and announced his and Mia's new state of friendship. Ron called Malfoy a ferret and Luna thanked the nargles that the pair had finally realised their feelings towards each other.

And they all lived platonically ever after.


End file.
